Here I Am


Written: 1999
Released: 2000 on 'Cupid Is A Drunkard'
'Juliette' in this song is Juliette
Hohnen, we were at school together in Eastbourne
- she went on to do some presenting for MTV in
America - she is also the 'eight year old girl' in
Only This High. 'Baby Blue' is a reference to a
friend, Rick, who died very suddenly aged only
27, in 1998.




I am here with these tears on my face
I am here back in this old familiar place
I can see myself as a child again
I am running down this corridor to you
And there you are the first girl I ever loved
You Juliette and me so far from Romeo
And how now like so many grains of sand
Our lives are scattered on winds of long ago
And here I am here I am

I have seen magic I have seen the flowers bloom in May
I have seen rainbows born of sudden suns and April rains
I have seen moonlight steal an ocean wide
And watched the colours of daytimes as they died
I have known of death I have seen a mothers loss
I have walked and wondered and wished and thought
On all the wishes I have wished and lost
A galaxy that started as a star
Baby Blue I don't know where you are
But here I am here I am here I am

I have seen my youth cut clear as the certainty of glass
Disappear in these lines upon my face
These years rage like flames through my wooded blood
My bones bound with forget-me-nots and thyme
I have known angels and harlots love devils just the same
Their salmon hearts caught on flesh hooks ripe with teeming bait
I drank their eyes and gave my guts without temperance or care
I have loved I have lost I have cut my arms
And here I am here I am here I am

I have seen wonders I have seen the seasons change
I have known madness I have been broken I have lost my mind
I have touched the face of death and walked away in time
I have fallen in love and turned and turned again and here I am
Maybe a sinner or more a blackened priest
Caught between this light and dark this Angle turn this Norman fold
This Saxon crease this life this time this hope this death
That creeps on me like silver in my sleep
And here I am here I am here I am

And still some days in this fast and fading grey
Still some days when my senses drift away
Some days still on a scent or sight or sound
Some days I just turn around
And I am here with these tears on my face
I am here back in this old familiar place
I can see myself as a child again
I am running down this corridor to you
And here I am here I am here I am

© Philip Jeays 1999
Philip Jeays © Sean K

Released April 18th 2016 Take The Slow Train album

© Philip Jeays 2011-2016