madame


Written: 1993
Released: 1999 on 'October'

Inspired by an idea from Jacques Brel's
song 'Les Remparts de Varsovie' (the Ramparts of
Warsaw), where he sings about a society Madam, running
around the world with her fake Russian accent, and as she
does so "every night I take the coats/ run the bar/ sing light
entertainment/ do the washing up, at the Alcazar"




They say the finest things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn't true
For all she sees in painting
Is the daubs of losers at a loss
For her artistic compulsion
Stops at two coats of emulsion
And the skirting board in gloss

And me I do the cleaning
Around her priceless art but still
When I talk of Picasso
She talks of Dulux vinyl

But she loves days spent in galleries
To recharge her artistic batteries
As she brays her mindless flatteries
Over Renoirs and Modiglianis
And when she says oh how I love the Dutch
I say Madame these are not the Dutch as such
But more south and west of the continent
She says I know that's what I meant


They say the finest things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn't true
For all she sees in music
Is to be seen where it's at
With her gaudy decoration
And Gaultier's latest creation
She looks like a trifle in a hat

And me I do the cooking
Italiano pleases her
But when I talk of Puccini
She talks of Lloyd Webber

But she loves nights at the opera
It must be good for her insomnia
As she snores through Kiri Te Kanawa
As she soars through La Cenerentola
And when she says oh how I love Verdi
I say Madame this is more Rossini
Although Verdi was also an Italian gent
She says I know that's what I meant


They say the finest things in life
Are for the rich and well to do
But still poor as I am
I take one look at Madame
And I know it isn't true
For all she sees in romance
Is a swelling bank account
For she has in her possession
Photos of an indiscretion
Between a Count and his mount

And me I do the washing
All her fine and lacy things
But when I talk of the Romantics
She talks of Jackie Collins

But she spends hours in contemplation
Of the beauty of her reflection
But me I've found the explanation
Her eyes and brain have no connection
And when she says oh how I'm beautiful
I say Madame you are more neanderthal
Too rich too stupid and too arrogant
She says I know that's what I meant

© Philip Jeays 1993
Philip Jeays © Sean K

Released April 18th 2016 Take The Slow Train album

© Philip Jeays 2011-2016