the old granny waltz


Written: 1991
Released: 2003 on 'Fame'



The old granny waltz is danced in threes
Is danced arm in arm is danced to cream teas
The old granny waltz is danced bag in hand
Is danced to the tune of an angry young man

And in the old days
They would birch him
They would church him
They would besmirch him
But not research him
And then just perch him
On some nice comfy chair
They would beat him
They would mistreat him
They would crush him
They would defeat him
They would thrash him
They would bash him
Not just put him in care
They would use him
They would abuse him
They would frame him
And then accuse him
And then they'd damn him
And then they'd hang him
And that would be that


And 1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
And blue rinse and corsets and all dentures false
Take your humility please for the old granny waltz

The old granny waltz is danced in twos
Is danced arm in arm is danced in bus queues
The old granny waltz is danced bag in hand
Is danced wherever they find a pram

And they oochy
Oochy coochy
Who's a lovely
Little baby
Who's a sweetie
Who's an angel
Who's a nice little boy
Who's a lovey
Who love his mummy
What a good boy
And tickle tummy
And little fingers
And little booties
And mwah mwah mwah mwah
He's like his mother
Or her lover
Or his brother
Or some other
Or just another
Poor little bugger
Who'll grow up a mistake


And 1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
And blue rinse and corsets and all dentures false
Take your hypocrisy please for the old granny waltz

The old granny waltz is danced alone
Is danced arm in arm in the armchair at home
The old granny waltz is danced old and unsure
Until the day she dances no more

And there we shall leave her
We shall grieve her
We shall let
The Lord retrieve her
As she will make
That trip we take
To that land far away
Where we know
We all must go
Up above
Or down below
All depending
On the ending
You choose to believe
But if you need proof
Of God's truth
Should you disbelieve
Oh squalid youth
Then just listen
And you can hear them
Cleaning their clouds


And 1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
And white wings and halos and all men rejoice
Take your sanctity please for the old granny waltz


© Philip Jeays 1986
Philip Jeays © Sean K

Released April 18th 2016 Take The Slow Train album

© Philip Jeays 2011-2016